The Pause : Abby’s birth

Written by: Beth “KJ” Johnson, Certified Professional Midwife – Heartline Maternity Center

There’s something in the birth world we call, “the pause.” It’s the moment immediately after a baby’s birth when a mother needs to catch her breath, to step over the threshold from woman to mother, to let her mind take in what her eyes see. It’s the moment where deep relief comes after so much pain and so many intense sensations.

It usually just takes a moment or two…and then all of the sudden the mother reaches for her baby and inhales him/her into her soul where she’ll carry that little one for the rest of her life.

Micale had two miscarriages before she carried a baby to term. I watched her grieve her losses deeply and long for a baby. When she started pushing, I said, “You’ve waited a long time for this. You’re about to hold your baby.” She smiled and said, “I’ve waited so long. I’m ready.”

Baby Abby with mom and dad at Heartline Maternity Center in Haiti

She pushed beautifully and instinctively. Right before Abby made her appearance, she turned over onto her hands and knees, and gently pushed. Abby’s fluffy pink face was staring right at me. In the next moment, Micale gave birth to her first baby girl.

I passed Abby between Micale’s legs as she sat back. I unwrapped her nuchal cord and dried her off. Abby was laying on the bed in front of her mom, pink and crying. I looked at Micale, her head titled back with relief and in effort to catch her breath. I said, “When you’re ready you can pick up your baby.” She looked down at Abby, studied her for a moment, took another deep breath and inhaled her little one deep into her her soul.


  • Gail says:

    Beautiful written.Thank you. As a mother of a young woman struggling with infertility this beings me to my knees.

    • Ashley @ Heartline says:

      Gail – thanks so much for taking the time to read and for sharing with us. We’re so sorry to hear of your daughter’s struggle with infertility. If there are ways that we can be praying for your family, please let us know by sending a message

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